Tears of a Father

I had my first emotional breakdown the other day. Well, maybe it wasn't a complete breakdown...let me explain.

As you probably know, I have a newborn in the house. Michelle and I just got done washing her, and Michelle was still in the shower. I am always trying to be a good husband and father, so when Grace started crying, I really wanted to comfort her and make her stop, and not just run to Michelle. So I tried soothing her, and swooshing her, and giving her the pacifier. Nothing seemed to work. She kept crying more and more.

Now, I'm pretty tired, as you might guess, having a newborn and all. My deepest heart's desire is to give Michelle a break, so I was feeling the pressure to keep her quiet. Combine those two things with the usual stress of being out of work, and soon enough, my tears were flowing as well. My wet eyes quickly turned to sobbing, and soon all I could do was just hold my daughter on my shoulder, as we both cried uncontrollably. Both our faces became beat red, and along with our shirts, were soaking wet.

Of course, by this time, Michelle is running out of the shower, thinking something is terribly wrong. I tried to tell her that nothing is wrong, but I couldn't even string two words together through the weeping. She took Grace, and I plopped down on the couch to compose myself.

As a father, how I longed to sooth my child, to wipe away her every tear. It tore my heart out every time she rejected my attempt to bring comfort and healing. If she only knew my love for her, that I could help her. If she only could express to me what she needed, where she was hurting, I could bring healing.

Now I know how my Heavenly Father feels. How he longs to take away every pain, sooth every fear, wipe every tear. Unlike me, He knows exactly what each one of us needs; He knows our very hearts. And He gives us what we need, yet we reject it. How I am now convinced of how painful that feels to out Father. He gave us His Son, the author and perfecter of our Faith, through whom the Father created the world, so that we might have a mediator to our Father, to whisper in His ear our hurts and pains, something Grace couldn't do with me.

Just like me, God cries with us when we hurt, when we suffer, because of our sin. Whether it is our fault, when we turn away from His love, or we are a victim, He loves us and cares for us. But, unlike me, our Heavenly Father actually has the power and ability to take the pain, the hurt, the suffering, away from us. For good. For ever.

Won't you give up? Won't you put your pride aside, and say to Him that you can't do it anymore? Won't you let Him hold you and comfort you? Won't you let His Son Jesus bring real healing to your life?He is there for you, always, everywhere, forever.

"Since my people are crushed, I am crushed; I mourn, and horror grips me...
Oh, that my head were a spring of water and my eyes a fountain of tears! I would weep day
and night for the slain of my people.
"For the LORD will ransom Jacob and redeem them from the hand of those stronger than they.
I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of
sorrow."
-Jeremiah 8:21; 9:1; 31:11,13

Catholic, Evangelical, Lutheran, Charismatic, Episcopal...

Well, here I am, blogging. Who would have guessed?

Why have I joined this elite club? Several reasons. 1)Theologically, I really want to try to organize my thoughts better. 2)I want to grow in my understanding of faith in everyday life. 3)Since I am not really doing active, programmatic ministry right now, I need an outlet, before I explode.

So, thanks for joining me. I hope that you check back regularly, because I need your input. I want to grow, and I need your comments to do that. We are all after the Truth, right?!?! I promise to make them short...

I thought I would start out by telling you a little about myself, through the faith lenses of several different faith traditions that I have traveled through over the last several years:

Catholic
I consider myself Catholic. I was born and raised Catholic. I got my Masters Degree in Theology from a Catholic University. My beliefs line up most closely with Catholic Theology. I also find it refreshing that the church leadership, for the most part, speaks Truth, even when it isn't popular.
Evangelical
I found my faith in college, surround by a mostly Evangelical student body. It was here that I learned how to live my faith. I grew in depth of ministry and faith-understanding, while challenging others, and being challenged myself. I say now I am Evangelical because I wear my faith on my sleeve, I believe deeply in the authority of Sacred Scripture, and I enjoy the style of music.
Lutheran
The ELCA was my first ministry opportunity, and I worked in the church for over 5 years, (if you don't count camping ministry). Although we have since parted ways (which I am sure we will get to later), I am deeply indebted for the start they gave me; the training, the challenges, and the opportunities. I enjoy engaging with Martin Luther theologically, and in my five years, I was a fierce advocate for youth leadership, and the need for deeper scriptural understanding among the laity.
Charismatic
Yes, you have read it; I am charismatic. I belong to a prayer group of the Catholic Charismatic Renewal. I have the gift of speaking in tongues, and have been known to speak words of prophecy. It's amazing to be in that atmosphere, were people are miraculously being healed, lives are being radically changed, and people are filled with joy. It is what Christianity needs more of.
Episcopal
I can thank my wife for this one. Since we are one, that makes me Episcopal as well. I love The Book of Common Prayer, and we frequent the church of the pastor that married us in Racine. A predecessor to the ELCA in it's recent shifts in policy, both Michelle and I are at odds with many of the recent decisions of the church. But one of my favorite bible scholars (N.T. Wright) is Anglican, which is the more conservative "mother" of the American Episcopalian church.

Well, that's me..Surprised? Tell me what you think?

"...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Is. 40:31